Agnes Welcomes You...

Be what you would seem to be -- or, if you'd like it put more simply -- Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise.~The Duchess

Monday, October 25, 2010

Lettuce Photograph Lettuce Press Stuff

This post deserves a back story, by the way. Feel free to read or scroll...just know that if you scroll without reading I'll know & judge you & probably won't like you anymore.

For those of you that know me, you know that authority is not really..."my thing". I don't take direction well, I hate people telling me what to do, & for the most part I will refuse to do something if it doesn't fit in to my schedule. (Please note: my schedule includes setting aside copious amounts of time to watch things like Teen Mom & Hoarders)

This being said, you can imagine that school really wasn't the best fit for little Agnes. Here's how college went for me: I showed up, got a cat, then quit. Now during my brief stint in higher education I met this awesome chick named Allison. She was crafty & short & taught me how to fold jeans the right way & junk. We ended up living together for a little while until my soon-to-be-obese cat peed all over her bed & I moved back to Portland (not from the pee, just 'cause I liked sleeping more than statistics). She went on to normal school-type activities like, you know, GRADUATING, and I got a job taking pictures of kids in a mall. Hey...we all have our paths people. Mine just included riding the studio tricycle prop down the mall hallway so I could get some cotton candy. Me = Class. Be jealous.

Anyofftopic, after *bleep* years of unintentionally not-talking little Allison (who lived in Tacoma, WA) signed up for the Crafty Wonderland show with her ridiculously cool Lettuce Press printing & our creative brains were fatefully reunited. NOW, you need to know that when I say "letterpress", I don't mean whatever little rinky dink letterpress you can buy down at PaperZone. I mean one of those 2 ton, made in 1800 & whatever, AMAZING letterpresses. And this greedy biatch has TWO.

Is that not fully awesome? Yeah. Yeah it totally is.

And she prints things like F* You & beating hearts which is astronomically cool in my book.

She moved to P-town shortly thereafter so I took a trip to her studio & took pictures....

Her creations are available HERE. I highly recommend purchasing some goodies. I, personally, turn in my rent check with the F* You cards.

How sweet are these typeset drawers?! Gah...so great. I want to live in them.

**Pretty sure that says "Thank You" in braille. Er...something. It doesn't really matter. At least SOMEONE cares about blind people, right? Right.



I love this old machine. I have no clue how it works even though Allison showed me...




She also does wedding invites!!! I plan on buying a puppy instead of a husband so wedding details aren't my expertise. But I'm pretty sure you need invitations. And if I end up marrying my dog I'm totally having her print my invitations.

In all seriousness (this is hard for me people), Allison is by all accounts an ARTIST. I've known her for like 10 years now & everything I've ever seen her make is clean, classy, fresh (both in the springy clean way AND the hip-hop way) and new. Which is rare to see honestly. It's been a treat being able to mesh creative brains & I look forward to more collaborations to come! Jeez I hate being genuine...sarcasm is so much safer. Like a cozy warm woobie.
You can also follow her blog HERE.



Senior Pictures: Agnes Style

So when I think back on the senior pictures taken "in my day" I think of lots of soft focus, maybe some granny hand-beneath-chin type poses & a generally LAME experience. In some ways, times haven't changed TOO much since then when it comes to the dreaded senior pic. I realize that mommies & daddies like that stuff but, to be honest, this blog isn't about them. It's about ME. And how great I am. So below you will see my dude-version of the senior picture. It has a sweet ass car...and industrial shit...and...and... MANLINESS.
Eat your hearts out peeps....











Ok ok...so the paper heart picture isn't manly. Shut up. I'm a girl & I like hearts so I made him do that one.

Monday, October 11, 2010

The Return of the Blogger

Errr sort of. Let's be honest folks, the likelihood of me committing to blog-dom (yeah, it's a word now, stop judging) is about as likely as me NOT writing a run-on sentence. Just smile & nod so we can get on with it....

Below are some shots I took of my folks, which I am particularly fond of just 'cause my parents are so damn weird/cute. For example: ME: "Hey dad, why don't you change your socks/maybe not wear the black shoes?" DAD: "Well shit, you already got me out here feeling like a weirdo with a guitar, why should I go take off my socks?" ME: "Mom, would you mind changing out of the white shirt so you're not so....white?" MOM: "Hell no, you're lucky I'm out here in the first place." I DID get my dad to take off the socks...so there's that...

Enjoy....
Oh! If you click on the pictures they get all big & great so you can see how cute my parents are together.
And this....this is my parents' dog Stuart. Who is big & awesome & stupid & they totally love him more than me. He gets more attention than me, more treats, more love, everything. I'm ok with this for one reason...hugging Stuart is like hugging a panda. But without all the mauling.
Cheers!

Agnes.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Photo Class Fun...

So, in keeping with my "I don't fit in in school" repertoire, I took the following photos. We were supposed to be messing with F-stops so our instructor could then make them faaaaaabulous in HDR. I took some, incorrectly it turns out, but then got distracted by my current magnifying glass obsession. The instructor gave the all-to-familiar "well everyone likes something different speech" then promptly took my pictures off the big screen. Always a bridesmaid....

Anyway, these quickie pics are of my co-worker Mary, who, by all accounts, is a hot bitch. Enjoy.

As always, necklaces are available HERE.








Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Revisiting The Senior Portrait...

Soooo, I haven't taken Senior pics in a good 7-8 years so needless to say I was a touch nervous to take Karmen's. Luckily, she's cute & was completely willing to roll with my need to incorporate weird shit into photoshoots. Also a lucky break, my dad collects weird stuff too so I was able to score a sweet oscilloscope & some vintage headphones for the shoot. At least we're classy hoarders....







She even brought her Viola to the shoot under the condition I don't take a cheesy band nerd picture of her. Duly noted....






I honestly am looking forward to my next series of senior pics...I got so many good ideas from shooting these! Gah! Excited...

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

My Long Lost Blog...

Forgive me...as I am so so rusty from my unintentional boycott of this blog. While I curse my favorite blogs for not posting things for my enjoyment on a daily basis I've let this one rot into oblivion. Whoops. Well I'm back on the wagon folks! Or...FOLK...must not get too hasty on my count of readers...

I started taking a photo class so I figured I would start posting some of the more recent (or recently neglected) photos as I get to them. This shoot was from a "vintage bride" shoot I did with the always beautiful Erin & my sometimes partner in crime, Jade Rose Designs. I wanted to go for a 1940's feel for the shoot so I dug my fur coat out (PETA be damned...oh stop it, those animals would have been dead by now anyway) and headed up to the greenhouse out at Luscher Farm. Greenhouses are so great, the lighting is amazing, it's nice & toasty inside...ahhh...loves it. I even made a FAAAABulous pearl necklace monstrosity just for funsies. That sucker weighs like 10 pounds. Enjoy!



All the hair pieces are available at Jade's Etsy Site!!

Jewelry available at my alter ego's Etsy, with the exception of Mega Pearl...if you're interested, just email me from the Etsy & we can chit chat....


I love this next shot! It's so perfectly Vintage Glam & Old Hollywood...can't wait to take more!



How perfectly glamour is Erin's face?! Ah...I was born in the wrong set of decades...




Dita Von Teese, eat your heart out....






I was too lazy to copyright these (also copyrighting looks wonky to me) so, please please please don't steal them. I know voodoo & a slew of other nasty hellfire techniques and I'll come after you. Perhaps I will copyright them to save you the pain...eventually...